Letter to Christine

Infidelity

By: MonkeyWerks

A man usually never has solid evidence of his woman’s infidelity.  It is usually small hints he notices.  Red flags, such as the feeling she is lying, being uncommitted to times they would meet.  She will also leave physical hints.  Wetter than normal vagina (remaining semen from other lover), not wanting sex, takes a longer than usual time to orgasm (she just did with her other lover).

He will sense something.  There will be dots to connect, texts and emails with underlying sexual tones, hiding her phone or locking the keypad on it, changing passwords, ambiguous about where she is or is going, and the list goes on.

The man will normally block out such hints because the truth hurts the super ego of the man.  The man would have a difficult time dealing with the now shattered false impression his woman was good and faithful.  His subconscious mind does not want to face the fact he was so wrong about the woman.  This creates a cognitive dissonance in him and that it what potentially will cause long term emotional trauma.

These things mentioned are working here in my mind and heart.  That is why the pain is practically unbearable when I have to deal with these memories and emotions.

My guts are burning as I read about all the men you have fucked that you never told me about.  Every line I read sends a wave of revulsion coursing through my body.  I have to write this down in order to purge myself of the disgust I am feeling for ever trusting a word you told me.  Relationships are built on trust.  Haven’t you learned that at your ripe old age of 45?  No, you have not.

In the beginning you told me you have been single for some time.  You told me no man has touched you for months.  I felt safe in trusting you then.

I read about how you were fucking the other men when you told me you would be faithful only to me.  I believed you then.  What I believe now is that very few women can be trusted because you seemed so sweet and honest when you told me I was the only one.  How could I have been fooled so completely?

Even though you could never love me you NEEDED me to love you with all of my heart.  You are the one that needed to own my sexuality and my desires while you gave yours away to every other man but me.

 

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